1001 Nachts

The now removed 1001 Nacht at Morey's Piers in Wildwood, NJ

…because when you do, people will want to marry them. It’s being reported by The Sun that a woman named Amy Wolfe, who has ‘objectum sexuality’ and is therefore attracted to inanimate objects, plans to marry an amusement ride at Knoebels Amusement Park in Elysburg, PA…the 1001 Nacht to be exact.

Amy says that she has been attracted to this ride since her first spin on it at 13 and currently rides ‘1001’ over 300 times a year. She even plans on changing her last name to Weber, after the ride’s manufacturer. Man, that ride’s a player…must be the German engineering.

Apparently Amy travels over 160 miles to visit the ride upon every visit, so it’s a long distance relationship of sorts. Amy has this to say about returning to the strapping piece of machinery that is 1001 Nacht:

I tell him how much I’ve missed him and what I’ve been up to since my last visit. And I kiss the bits I can reach. The staff are really understanding.

They even have a great sex life as Amy confesses that a photo of 1001 Nacht above her bed helps her “in private.”

(Editor: *recoils in disgust*)

So what did we learn from this? Well, it could be that ‘sexy’ rides like Weber’s 1001 Nacht should be made to look more like the white trash carny rides that we all know and love (in a normal, non-sexual way.) Although, then we’d be left with torture device looking rides devoid of flashy lights and tricked out fiberglass scenery.

By the way, I’m 99% sure that this ride review of 1001 Nachts over at Theme Park Critic was made by Amy…she certainly knows her stuff about the ride and Weber.

So, what’s everyone think about this story? Are there any rides that put a twinkle in your eye, eh? Hey, the Kinzler Breakdance doesn’t look too damn bad!

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