I had a section back when The DoD3 was just an aimless site trying to figure out what it wanted to be when it grew up called WikiVandal; it basically showcased stupid Wikipedia vandalisms for the sake of laughing at the expense of the vandal’s idiocy. Considering that coasters and amusement parks are riddled with frothing fanboys, I thought it would make a good topic for a re-vamped WikiVandal section!
Today we’re going to take a look into the world of internet coaster fanboys by checking out the ‘history’ section of select roller coaster articles, looking for the not-so-elusive “reverted vandalism by…” tag. Now let me say that I don’t condone vandalizing Wikipedia and that I won’t be featuring vandalisms written from today (March, 16, 2010) on. So if you’re thinking about vandalizing to get into a future WikiVandal installation, it’s not happening! Plus, 99% of the vandalisms are caught within minutes, if not immediately by the Wiki bots.
Ok, where to start. What coaster has a ton of critics and an equally large number of fanboys? How about…
Case 1: Millennium Force
I honestly can’t think of another ride that garners more flame wars between fanboys. Some absolutely love the coaster for its height, drop, overbanked turns, etc; while some revile it for having a boring layout, too many straight sections, a bad name, etc. Let’s see what those vandals say!
| Exhibit A |
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| Notes: Um…ok. This vandal obviously tried to profess their love by posting their declaration on a Wikipedia article about a coaster…very romantic. You know, those screwed up HTML elements won’t win her heart, I’ll tell you that much. |
| Exhibit B |
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| Notes: See that? Not all vandals are out to defame the ride! This vandal obviously adores Millennium Force and wants everyone to know that even with a 5 hour line, the ride is worth every one of those 300 minutes lost! |
| Exhibit C |
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| Notes: Let’s see…world records. Largest drop…mmm hmm…yes, first elevator lift…and…oh! First ride to kill 2 consecutive people in a row! Wow, that’s not only a grim stat, it’s also redundant! |
Ok, that’s enough with Millennium Force. There’s probably enough material there to fill this entire post and then some. I’d be willing to bet that some of the hostile vandals may pledge their allegiance to…
Case 2: Kingda Ka
| Exhibit A |
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| Notes: Uh…are ya’ kidding me? Those Cedar Point fanboys are always trying to get TTD in the limelight once again! |
| Exhibit B |
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| Notes: Yeah, kid. I wonder if you’ll still say it’s the best once you ride in the back seat with its ridiculous vibration from hell. (It’s kind of like this for anyone who hasn’t been back there.) |
Hey, speaking of Top Thrill Dragster…
Case 3: Top Thrill Dragster
| Exhibit A |
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| Notes: How does one exactly get a “butt rash” on TTD? I guess this vandal knows a lot about these postirior irritations consdiering that they classify it as the “biggest in history.” Oh sorry, “bigest in history.” |
| Exhibit B |
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| Notes: Dammit GAdv fanboys! Can’t you show some couth? At least say that TTD has been ‘pwned’ by Kingda Ka’s 418000000 foot drop! |
Ok, let’s check out some newer coasters. Terminator: Salvation is a wooden coaster that debuted in 2009 at Six Flags Magic Mountain. Yeah, Terminator is wooden…that makes sense…
Case 4: Terminator: Salvation
| Exhibit A |
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| Notes: I’d be inclined to say that the “you all suckx” comment is a vandalism, however upon looking at the shameless TPR link spam, I beleive we have found the real vandalism on this page! |
Another new coaster this past year was Manta, a B&M flyer with water splash segment at SeaWorld Orlando…
Case 5: Manta
| Exhibit A |
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| Notes: What?! How? This just doesn’t make sense…no sense at all… |
Finally, we’ll hit up another new-ish flyer (in terms of flying coasters I guess)…
Case 6: Tatsu
| Exhibit A |
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| Notes: Heh, ok this one is actually pretty good. However…err…the supports aren’t red, white and blue. Hey wait! I see what he did there… |
So what can we conclude from this? That a percentage of theme park/coaster enthusiasts are immature? That rabid park fanboys will use any forum to speak out for or against a certain attraction? That Top Thrill Dragster leaves riders with an awful butt rash? Actually, I think we learned this!